Are You Perfect?

Do you believe that being “perfect” gives you control over how people feel about you?” If you do, then you are coming from these big false beliefs that are causing you much unhappiness.

FALSE BELIEF #1
“I can have control over how people feel about me”.
Think for a moment whether or not others have control over how you feel about them. Can someone do everything “right” and be “perfect” in their own eyes, yet you don’t enjoy being around them or you don’t feel connected with them?

Others may influence how you feel about them, but they have no control over how you feel about them. If you are a basically accepting person, then you might like them even if they get angry or withdrawn. If you are generally a judgmental person, then there may be little they can do for you to like them.

Now turn this around regarding how others feel about you. Since you have no control over whether or not another person is accepting or judgmental, it stands to reason that you also have no control over how they feel about you, regardless of how perfectly loving, open, caring, giving, understanding, handsome, beautiful, or rich you are.

FALSE BELIEF #2
“There is a standard of perfectionism and I can reach it”.
Perfect was not necessarily what others thought was right and perfect. In fact, it seemed that each person had a completely different understanding of what it means to be perfect!

This was quite distressing to me, as it took away my illusion of control over how people felt about me. At that time many years ago, I was terrified of rejection, so it gave me great comfort to believe that if only I was perfect enough, then I would never be rejected.

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1 Comment (+add yours?)

  1. Rachael
    Apr 02, 2011 @ 13:24:56

    This made me think of “Fkin Perfect” by P!nk. It’s a great song!

    Reply

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